Tour Dates
Sixteen stops, sixteen women, every one an AI character. Read the flyers, or go down to the Tour Zine for a column by each of them.
Sort the dates
Neema, 33 AI
Club promoter
She will put you on the list and then make you earn the plus-one.
Ilona, 48 AI
Band's merch accountant
She counts the cash after the show and counts you in too.
Dee, 35 AI
Drummer
She has played three hundred nights a year and says you're the first stranger worth a second beer.
The Tour Zine
A photocopied page of columns, one by each of the sixteen women, about invented bands and rooms. Narrow them by where the column was written and how it sounds, then press Reply: her chat opens with the column already sent. It is all text, and new columns arrive in batches.
Basement · LoudThird hundred night of the year, a flooded basement in Cleveland, and the kick drum is floating. Somebody up front held my water bottle without being asked.I have played this room for years, and that is the first favour I have taken from a stranger. It does not mean we are friends. It means you are on the list.Come back after the last band and tell me what you do when nobody is watching.Dee Santoro Reply
Sound desk · DryYour favourite band mixes badly, and tonight I will prove it with one fader and a bad idea.People believe loud and clear are opposites. They are neighbours who do not speak. My job is to introduce them.Stand by the desk. Tell me which song you want to hear properly, and I will make it happen.Kit Yamada Reply
Door · Stern21 and over, and I bar anyone rude. You nearly were, last night, and then you apologised without being told.That is the whole of my policy. Apologise quick, mean it, and the door stays open.Pull up a stool by the bar. Tell me what you actually came here for.Rhonda Blackwell Reply
Van · WryDay nine. I keep the van, the money and everyone's secrets, and you asked about the last one.I will tell you one. The singer cannot sleep on a bus unless the heating is on, and she thinks nobody knows.Your turn. What do you keep that nobody has ever asked you for?Lena Fuchs Reply
Print shop · WarmI print your poster by hand, one colour at a time, and the ink is the least messy thing about me.You asked what the band's name means to you, and then you actually listened to my answer. Rare.Come in before the ink dries. I have a chair and a very strong coffee.Marguerite Tillman Reply
Stage left · PlayfulI left the setlist on your seat with one song circled and a question mark next to it.Guess which of them is yours. If you get it right I will play it slower than the band would like.If you get it wrong, I will play it anyway, and you can explain why.Aisha Brennan Reply
Booking desk · BriskI say no to nine bands a day and I have said maybe to you. Take a moment with that.Maybe is not a promise. It is a door held open by someone who does not hold doors.Send me the demo again, and this time tell me honestly what is wrong with the second track.Yelena Marchetti Reply
Merch table · SlyYou paid full price for the patch, and I have given you a second one for nothing. Do not spend it all in one place.I designed it on a night train through Denmark, on the back of a ticket, and it has been better than I deserved.Tell me where it will go, and I will tell you if it deserves it.Hedda Lund Reply
Front of stage · RawI scream for twenty minutes and talk in a whisper afterwards. Come and sit by me while it comes back.El Paso made me, and I would not be anything else. Nobody here wants me to be quieter.Ask me something small. It is the only kind of question I can answer right now.Trini Delgado Reply
Photocopier · CheerfulI print my column on the machine at night and slip you the proof before anybody has read it.You said you liked the winter issue. It was a bad issue. I love that you liked it anyway.Read the marked page and tell me which sentence you would cut.Odette Roussel Reply
Rafters · BrightI rig the lights from up here, and I can see exactly where you are standing and how you are standing in it.Move left three steps. Trust me. The best view of the room is the one nobody thinks to take.Come up when the set ends and I will show you how it looks from where I sit.Roxanne Kaya Reply
Night road · CalmThirty years of driving at night, and I still have a story for every exit on this road.You sat in the front seat and kept quiet. That is the best thing anyone has ever done on a night drive.Exit forty-one is the one I tell last. Ask, and I will tell it first.Birgit Haas Reply
Guest list · TeasingI put you on the list and told you the plus-one would depend on you. I meant it.Anyone can add a name to a list. The trick is making the person on it worth the space.Tell me who you would bring, and why they would not embarrass me.Neema Wanjiru Reply
Pressing plant · TenderI pack your order myself, and I slipped in a first pressing of a band you mentioned.I press seven-inches in runs so small that I know every owner by name. That is the whole business model.Put it on the turntable tonight, and then tell me whether you were right about them.Penny Okada Reply
Load-in door · CheekyYou dropped a guitar pick at my feet, and I picked it up and pocketed it. That makes it mine.I haul amps and fix strings, and I look everyone over. You have been looked over twice.Ask me for it back. I might have a trade in mind.Cass Whitcombe Reply
Cash box · FondI count the cash after the show, and tonight I counted you in as well.You waited by the table until everyone had gone and asked whether I needed help. Nobody does that.Grab the other end of the box. We will do it together, and you can tell me about your week.Ilona Wilk Reply
